Reunion 'War Stories' Include Vietnam

It was late at night. Colleen and I were on a walk around the neighborhood, pushing the baby in the stroller and hoping he would fall asleep, when my 13-year-old daughter asked me, "if you had a choice would you rather have grown up in the '60s or the '80s?"
Since Colleen is always asking "whatif?" questions, I was tempted to give her a flip response, but I couldn't think of one. Instead I said, "I'm happy I grew up in the '60s- I had a lot of fun - butthere are so many more opportunities for girls now, especially in sports."
"And in the '60s we had Vietnam to contend with. It dominated our lives and the prospects for our future."
"Vietnam seemed far away, yet close to home. When I was in high school I would to my friend Phyliss' house. on her parents' kitchen table was a map of Southeast Asia covered with marking pins. It served as a constant reminder that their Marine son was precariosly traipsing around too far from home and a safe life.
Years later, copies of that map were still being used in homes all over America. One was even in Grandma and Grandpa's house, keeping track of Uncle Peter's tour of duty."
Recently, When I went with John to Denver for his 20-year college reunion, I took a trip back to those tumultuous days of the miniskirt. We had a wonderful time celebrating with the fellas (it was an all-male school then) and their wives.
There were lots of catching-up conversations about families, jobs, children and hobbies, but the greatstories were the ones reliving their four years together. One person compared the warm feeling of camaraderie with that of visiting favorite relatives.
After two days of laughing very hard at stories about the laundry where the clothes alway turned pink, the cafeteria where the food was always the same- awful - and roommates who were weird and teachers who were weirder, it occurred to me that everyone there was also telling an army story, becouse in the late '60s, when school was out, Uncle Sam called you in.
For the most part these military tales were also on the light, even humorous, side. Especially the one about the new recruit telling the quartermaster sergeant, "This size 28 T-shirt you issued me will be way too small."
"Is that a fact?" the sergeant answered. " Then these pants should even out that problem," he said as he handed the recruit a size 44 waist.
The tone was more sober when the remembrances were of someone who didn't make it to the reunion because he never made it back physically or mentally from his post-graduate stint in the jungles, or when those who had visited the Vietnam Memorial in Washington, D.C., described its impact.
One former soldier said it reminded him of a big black scar carved amid the beautiful white symbols of freedom(th Washington Monument and the Jefferson and Lincoln Memorials) which surround it. Someone else described the Vietnam Memorial as a painful reminder of a very tragic time but it helped to see his friends honored there.
The Feelings we experienced at the reunion were so rich and full they have to be shared. Some of the moments, as good as they were, probably would lose something in the retelling. You had to be there. But the opportunity to be with these friends and, after 20 years, to recapture that unique kinship, is one I want my children to have.
What I'm trying to say is that growing up in the '60s turned out to be a good experience for me, one I want my children to have one exception: I don't want them to have Vietnam to talk about at their reunion.
July 29, 1987