Case of 'I Should Be's' Is a Daily Dilemma

Have you been wondering what I do all day? I doubt that you have, but if you were my answer would be: "I do a lot of things but not what I should be doing because I'm never doing what I should be doing."
It seems that no matter how important what I'm doing is, I can always think of something I should be doing instead.
For example, when I was going to the hospital with the distinct feeling that my baby's birth was imminent, I felt like I shouldn't go because I should be straightening up the house.
Whenever I leave the house I think I shouldn't be going because I should be mowing the lawn or scouring the bathroom or vacuuming cobwebs off the basement windows.
Don't worry, I still go and usually to a place I've been telling myself I should go when I've been doing something else.
If I'm cleaning the basement to get ready for a birthday party, I keep thinking I should be shopping for party favors. Later, when I'm out shopping for the party loot I get nervous because I should be home planning party games.
Of course, there also is the dilemma of thinking I should be in two places at once. At 5 p.m. when I'm getting dinner started, I think I should jump into the car to pick up one of the children at soccer or dancing lessons. But I also think I should get the clothes out of the dryer before they wrinkle.
If I opt for doing the laundry, then I get really nervous because I know I should hurry up and pick up the kids. But I also think I should put another load of clothes in the washer.
I get a case of the "I should be's" when I'm just hanging around keeping the home fires burning. I tell myself I should be working on some project to improve our community. Then, when I'm at a good-deed-doers meeting, I think I probably should be home doing deeds I'm supposed to be doing.
I also love going to lunch with friends. These occasions don't often occur because most of my friends also have all these things they should be doing. When we do get together, it is relaxing and fun until I decide I have to get going because I should be home doing something. Of course, when I get home after an afternoon out I never feel like doing much of anything.
Food is a continual "I should be" problem. Whenever, I eat something, I know I should be eating something else or nothing at all. If I do eat something I should be eating, I know it won't be long before I'm tempted to eat something I shouldn't.
That's why when a friend stops by for a chat, instead of sitting and visiting I feel like we should take a walk while we talk so I can walk off the brownies or ice cream I shouldn't have eaten. When I'm having a nice dinner I would like to have a glass of wine to complement my food. But I think I should have water instead because wine will make me sleepy and I have things I should do after dinner. On the other hand, I tell myself, maybe I should have the wine because if I do I'll be relaxed enough so that all the should-be-dones are forgotten.
If I start dozing off while I'm lying on the couch reading the newspaper, I think I should go to bed. So I get off the couch and then decide I should straighten up the family room before I go
upstairs.
After reading about all these dilemmas, you probably could surmise that I'm either a very complex, multi-faceted worry wart, a frazzled organizer, a nervous wreck or all of the above. But
possibly I'm as normal as anyone else.

October 22, 1986