Wedding Bells Aren't Chiming in Boys' Plan for Life

The car radio was on.
"That's pretty music," I commented to the little guys with me. Then 5-year-old Mike said, ''That's wedding music." I was surprised to hear him say that but he was right. It was wedding music.
"Do you like it?" I asked him.
"Yeah, it sounds nice," he answered.
"Would you like to have that music played at your wedding?" I wondered aloud as I silently began planning Mike's wedding, reception, pre-nuptial dinner, my dress, and who would be just the right bride for my wonderful boy. But Mike ended my daydream by saying, "I'm not getting
married."
"You aren't?"
"No. I'm not."
"You don't have to get married until you're bigger. Maybe you' ll change your mind."
"I can't get married," Mike replied. "I'm going to get a lot of jobs."
"What sort of jobs are you going to get?" I asked.
"I'm going to work at the gas station, the hair cut place, and the grocery store," was his answer. Those are the three places he goes and they all look like interesting places to work.
That evening I told John about Mike's plans for life.
"You aren't getting married?" he asked his young son.
"No, I'm not."
"Don't you want to have children?"
"No," answered Mike, who at this point was doing flips on the family room couch. "I don't want to have kids, they bother me."
"Where are you going to live?" John asked
"I'm going to buy this house and live here."
"That's a good plan," John and I answered as we wondered where we would live.
Since that day, Mike has changed his mind about the house. He was disappointed with the size of our Christmas tree. He wanted to buy the ll-foot one and we got the 9-foot one because we couldn't remember how high our ceiling is. When we got home we realized the bigger one would have worked, and Mike let us know he wasn't happy about the tree.
"When I grow up I'm getting a big house with lots of room with real high ceilings."
"Who is going to live with you if you don't get married?"
Mike pointed to 4-year-old Pete, who was agreeing with him about the tree's size.
"And you can, too," he said to me, "if you are still alive."
Even though Pete already has a prospective spouse, he claims it isn't going to work out. The other night, Maureen returned home from babysitting our next door neighbor's children with the message, "Pete, Annie says you two are in a fight."
"That's right," Pete said "Annie thinks we are in a fight because she wants to get married but I can't get married."
"Why not?" Maureen asked as the rest of the family strained their ears to hear Pete's thoughts on the subject.
"Because I'm going to be a scientist and scientists can' t get married."
That makes sense doesn't it?
For one of Patrick's 11th grade classes, he had to project his life's activities into the future and write a resume and a letter applying for a job. He wrote seeking a job as an international airline pilot. In the resume where he was to include relevant facts, he stated, "I am single and could devote all my time to flying for the airlines without anyone wanting me home all the time."
I should have pointed out to Patrick that in the mid 90's the chances of a wife sitting home waiting for her husband are remote. Patrick could find his wife up in the cockpit with him.
What did occur to me was Patrick's aversion to marriage was my third strike in the inning of life when I become the mother of the groom. Luckily, I have two more sons.
John, who is 8, says he doesn't know yet, if he'll get married, and Matthew may get married someday but right now the only girl for him is his mom. That must be the reason he calls me Mrs. Cavanaugh.
January 11, 1989